Saturday, July 08, 2006

Just don't let me stand next to a computer monitor

Snore. Snore. Deep breathing. Creak! Sit straight up in bed, looking around the room.

Hmmm... nothing. Must have been my imagination. Resume deep and even breathing.

Crack. Door closing. Shuffling down the hallway.

And then this... standing right next to my side of the bed.....

GAH!!!! WHAT in the HELL is it about ME that these kids are attracted to? Is there some internal Mommy magnet that I didn't know about? Something the hospital implants in your vagina or abdomen after you give birth? These children NEVER go to their father's side of the bed. It is ALWAYS mine, and it is ALWAYS when I have my freaking back turned to them.

I need to find this implant and have it removed immediately.


Anonymous Lise said...

Hi, I guess it's the ombelical(did I spell it right?) cord that might still be attached except it's invisible?

I love the look of your blog. I joined Bloggerchicks not long ago and I made it my mission to visit all of them :)

Will be back.

12:42 PM  
Blogger Wander said...

I think it's because they learn from the minute they are born that Mom is where food, clothes, baths and boo-boo kisses come from and they just never out grown it.
My ex-husband used to starts fights over this because the kids would right past him and come to me for whatever.

5:52 PM  
Blogger Oblivious Maven said...

So. Can. Relate. But I just have one. But he's got two eyes. And they're both looking at me. ME.

10:43 PM  
Anonymous mothergoosemouse said...

Came over from MOTR because I have an unnatural NEED to see stills from The Shining so that I will not be able to sleep.

We actually live not that far from that hotel (The Stanley). I want to stay the night and stay in Room 217.

Seriously though, that's why my husband sleeps on the side of the bed closest to the door. So that he can (scare away the freaky ghost children) deal with our daughter's nightmares.

11:34 PM  

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The Lovely She, that is me!

I'm a mom of three peeps ... Queen Bee, The Door Man, and the Chandelier Monkey, and wife to Ace, the Helpful Hardware Man. I created this space to get away from the people known as my inlaws, and because life with three kids and a hubby is all Unexplored Territory.

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The nine-year-old who seems to be growing older every minute, has an opinion and a comment for everything, and has a true servant's heart.
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The seven-year-old who loves the organization of things, will someday be someone's therapist because of his kind soul, and will more than likely be living with us until he is 40 years old.
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The five-year-old with the 13-year-old attitude, who has a dictator's personality, asks you to watch her all the time and say "hold on" to keep your attention, and will someday come home on the back of some dude's motorcycle with 10 tatts and a body piercing or two.

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The man of the house, the fixer of things, the winner of prizes, and the only person in his family to escape the South.

Give her some love!
Pass the bong but don't tell the Pastor
Don't forget about my renter!
Things we get honestly
and to end the evening ...
Feeding the mosquitos ... one kid at a time
You know it is time to leave the family get togeth...
Tell 'em Jimmy Honk sent you
And with a dismissive wave of the hand...
It never hurts to ask, does it? Well I don't know ...


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