Sunday, December 03, 2006
Trains and various states of undress
One of the redeeming qualities of our newspaper is the fact that it publishes a daily docket. And not only are the escapades of my town's criminals and derelects published for public embarassment but the newspaper has a writer that has a pretty good sense of humor.
Every once in a while, when the staff writers have writer's block, they reach into the bag of goodies that the docket produces.
This weekend, Ace was entertaining me with the entries, some of which I had heard before, which didn't make them any less funny.
So tonight, I share with you the antics of my townspeople, and the wit of some unknown docket writer.
Not just "regular" undress, which would have been embarassing enough as it was.
A married couple in a car parked in the middle of a township road were found in an obvious state of extreme undress.
I almost wet my pants on this next one because I remembered hearing it the first time around, and almost wet myself then.
A man was arrested for stealing a home pregnancy test and a shot glass from a store.
Now this dude, I totally feel sorry for. I mean, a noise violation is one thing. Publicly embarassing the dude about his poor taste in music... that is a whole new ballgame right there.
A husband who jumped onto his wife's lap in a kitchen chair was treated for a thigh injury because she had been holding a kitchen knife.
This guy had a hot night on the town planned...
A man was cited for playing K.C. and the Sunshine Band must too loud on his stereo.
A man was arrested for shoplifting whiskey, condoms, and cologne from a local store. But the next two are the winners in my book:
A driver involved in a non-injury accident on railroad tracks said the train had swerved and hit her. So ... do you have a daily docket? And do you see some doozies in it?
An intoxicated man staggering near North Main Street was asked by city police if he knew which street he was on. 'This one,' he replied.
I'm a mom of three peeps ... Queen Bee, The Door Man, and the Chandelier Monkey, and wife to Ace, the Helpful Hardware Man. I created this space to get away from the people known as my inlaws, and because life with three kids and a hubby is all Unexplored Territory.
The nine-year-old who seems to be growing older every minute, has an opinion and a comment for everything, and has a true servant's heart.
The seven-year-old who loves the organization of things, will someday be someone's therapist because of his kind soul, and will more than likely be living with us until he is 40 years old.
The five-year-old with the 13-year-old attitude, who has a dictator's personality, asks you to watch her all the time and say "hold on" to keep your attention, and will someday come home on the back of some dude's motorcycle with 10 tatts and a body piercing or two.
The man of the house, the fixer of things, the winner of prizes, and the only person in his family to escape the South.
Wouldn't this be a hoot!
Murphy's Law doesn't even cover it
The new digs!
All I want for Christmas is a cool laptop
Take a picture; it'll last longer
TT # 19
Six Weird Things About Me
ONE more Thanksgiving story, and I promise to stop...
So you tell me ....
Nobody under 21 admitted