Wednesday, May 02, 2007
Family by fate, friends by choice blah blah blah whatever
The Mominator and I are basically two peas in a pod. We are opinionated. We can't keep our mouths shut. We have to have five jobs to feel fulfillment. However, I have more self-confidence than my mother, and I attribute that to the fact that I have more "control" over my marriage relationship than my Mom did when she was my age. My Dad ... I love him to death, but he can be a real dork sometimes, pulling that macho "Me man, me work outside, you woman, you run sweeper" crap with my Mom. And I have always been so surprised to see my Mom roll over when it comes to some arguments with my Dad. My Dad hasn't always put my Mom first. Ok ... who am I deluding. He NEVER puts my Mom first. He is always thinking about others so much, that he forsakes my Mom on occasion. Too many stories, not enough attention span to write them down.
Then there is my brother. Good old brother. He is 11 years my senior, so saying we are the best of buds is an overstatement. I was the one who ruined his Thanksgiving dinner. I am the one who wasn't a brother when I was born. I think that deep down inside, he hasn't forgiven me for those two things that I could never control. But we are cool. We have a relationship. And that is good. We can go for months on end without speaking to one another, and we are just fine with that. He is the one I look like the most, though. So you can well imagine ... that is either good for him or bad for me. ;)
Then my sister. Ah yes.... Mini Martha. She is extremely SO opposite of me, it isn't even funny. She has a quirky dress style. I am granola Birk and tye dye. She is organized. I am so far from organized that I drive her insane. She is vegetarian. I am not. She loves to be outside gardening. I love to be outside sitting my fat arse in a chair and knitting or crocheting.
And our parenting style. Don't even get me started. This morning, I was relaying how I had taken away the Queen's Gameboy for a month because she had mouthed off to me SO badly yesterday that I just took it and told her she was off of it until June 1. I made that comment to Mini Martha, and she said WOW. That sure is a long time. You bet your bottom dollar it is, Annie.
Then I said that it was too bad because I had just won Wario Ware off of Ebay for it last night. I said that the Door Man will be able to play it while she is off of it, and immediately she said "well, that sure isn't fair. That seems like a double-punishment right there. You shouldn't let him play it."
I informed her that he DOES play it when the Queen is not around. That she DOES grant him permission to play it from time to time. So ... why should HE be punished because she is being punished? I mean ... ok yeah. It technically is NOT his game. I understand that. But we have allowed them to share it when SHE lets him. She is the one in control of it. So since she is no longer in control of it, then we are. WE are the parents. The Queen doesn't run the show.
And therein lies our difference: She is all about sacrificing everything for the well-being of her child, sometimes losing herself along the way. I am all about self-preservation because if my kids see that I am no longer "me" because I have so fallen into the role of their mother, that is not doing them any good.
Plus ... she gave birth to one. I gave birth to three.
See ... totally different. SOOOOOO totally different.
I'm a mom of three peeps ... Queen Bee, The Door Man, and the Chandelier Monkey, and wife to Ace, the Helpful Hardware Man. I created this space to get away from the people known as my inlaws, and because life with three kids and a hubby is all Unexplored Territory.