Unexplored Territory

Saturday, May 27, 2006

As we get ready for our upcoming garage sale....

have you ever noticed the sheer amount of ... for lack of a better word ... SH** that a person can accumulate over the years? I should have gained some sort of insight when Ace and I had to upgrade our apartment after our wedding, just to house our shit. Seriously. Ace had a tiny apartment across from our local high school. It was SMALL! We had to tell one another when we were walking through the kitchen in order to make room for the other's passage.

We upgraded to a little townhouse-type apartment behind the mall. It was nice. We loved it there, but we hated the electric bill in the winter because it had electric baseboard heating. We got that first $ 100 extra bill, and we learned to economize.

When we moved to Kentucky, we had a LOT of stuff, but Ace had already moved it all down because he was already working there.

Over the years, we have accumulated crap and more crap and more crap.

And do you know who the chief instigator of crap accumulation is?

Ace himself.

I should take a picture of his "workbench" in the basement. It is an abomination. Anything and everything that has EVER broken (except for his Atari) is on that bench. The Atari ... THIS should also have been an enlightening opportunity for me, too ... to allow me to see that this man is the world's WORST packrat. WORST. I think the only person who could be a tad worse is my FIL. The Atari was broken. He had this Atari since ... oh ... 1980? Yes. You read that right. This man held ON to his childhood Atari, even though it didn't work. Because you just NEVER know when I will be able to fix it ... then we can play it.

Seriously. When we were moving from the townhouse in Findlay, he was at work, so the Atari made it to the dumpster out back. Guess who went dumpster-diving after work? I can't remember exactly where the Atari met its rightful demise, but it was a sweet day in history.

So now we have these other "things." These other "you never know ... I might be able to fix it and use it again." Yeah ... I will be SO willing to start using some 10 year old appliance that has been sitting in our basement for over 6 years, gathering dust, acting as a home for God knows what down there.

I just don't have the stamina OR the patience to go down there and throw everything away. And it isn't just the workbench. It is the entire basement. It is HIS room down there. He has all sorts of shit down there, and he knows he can get away with it, because I only go down there to do laundry (if I even do that).

So, if you are looking for an appliance that hasn't worked for over 10 years, and some spider families, come on over to this house.

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I'm a mom of three peeps ... Queen Bee, The Door Man, and the Chandelier Monkey, and wife to Ace, the Helpful Hardware Man. I created this space to get away from the people known as my inlaws, and because life with three kids and a hubby is all Unexplored Territory.

The nine-year-old who seems to be growing older every minute, has an opinion and a comment for everything, and has a true servant's heart.

The seven-year-old who loves the organization of things, will someday be someone's therapist because of his kind soul, and will more than likely be living with us until he is 40 years old.

The five-year-old with the 13-year-old attitude, who has a dictator's personality, asks you to watch her all the time and say "hold on" to keep your attention, and will someday come home on the back of some dude's motorcycle with 10 tatts and a body piercing or two.

The man of the house, the fixer of things, the winner of prizes, and the only person in his family to escape the South.