Thursday, May 25, 2006

Do you know what drives me batty?

When my mother comes over and in two minutes flat, she can offend me and bug the piss out of me at the same time.

She thinks that the Door Man needs his own room. Sure he does. He will get his own room, but not until the time that we decide the current setup isn't working anymore. The older kids have a different bedtime than the Monkey, so there you go. She just sees the Man as "the boy stuck in the middle between two sisters" who is somehow losing his identity. If anyone has seen the Man, they will know that is FAR from the truth. If ANYone has an identity crisis, it is Queen Bee. She just isn't a "strong" person. The Door Man, OTOH, is a VERY strong personality.

My mother sees him being bossed around on both ends. Yeah well, she wasn't here yesterday when I had to the Door Man to stop trying to be the father and to eat his lunch. I heard him tell the Monkey at least three times during lunch for her to eat and not drink so much of her milk.

So when she moved off of her "you need to put the Man in a room all to himself" kick, she moved on to my decision about redecorating our front bathroom. I want classic. I don't want cute. I don't want ducks, I don't want fish, I don't want anything that looks like it is a kids' bathroom (which it is). Mini Martha (my sister ... a good name for her) suggested the beach theme. That could be workable; I don't have a problem with that suggestion.

The Mominator, on the other hand, made the suggestion that Vera Bradley has this nice teal and brown combination. Well, Mom.. don't they just make purses? I can't really see where putting purses all over my walls would be considered decorating. She said "well, they make napkins ... you could use that as a valance." This idea was brought to light by Mini Martha, so that is the Mominator's suggestion EVERY SINGLE TIME... because, you know, MM has style; I don't. I don't have any creativity. I don't have any fashion sense. I can't decorate a house unless I receive 10000 different POVs because they are SOOOO necessary.

The taupe might be too dark for that room. Well thanks ... right now it is white, so really what do you have to base that comment on? It is a small room with a regular sized window.

Well, you can use those napkins for your valance. Yeah.... no. That doesn't help me with the shower curtain, does it?

No, but you could the napkins as your valance.

Yeah. Did you hear me the FIRST time when I said that doesn't help me at all with the shower curtain issue.

Well, no. But you could use the napkins as your valance and pull the color out in the curtain. You could make the curtain taupe.

yeah... to match my wall?

No ... that might be too much. You could make the curtain taupe, and paint the wall something different.

Seriously. Am I THAT pathetic? Am I THAT not pulled together? I don't think so. In fact, I know so.

Yeah. My taste might be eclectic. But at least I HAVE taste.


Anonymous Christie said...

here's an idea for you...have you ever considered using napkins for a valance? ha! loving your blog! I can let you borrow Nate...not to be confused with Landon. Remind me Sunday.


6:38 AM  
Anonymous Robin said...

So know where you are coming from. I have the same type of mom, living right across the street. She will say "you need to weed your flower beds", "you need to center this picture better", "here is a picture of this living room set-up (that looks nothing like mine by the way), you should really consider doing it this way!" Ok, bye-bye now. Why does that instantly piss me off? Who knows! I know that I am not good at decorating my house. But is a direct insult to me to constantly want to change things around. Or treat me like a baby. No really, I like the weeds. They add a certain something to our landscape. Any sentance starting with "you know, you should really..." I am instantly pissed.
Talk about pressing my buttons...

8:00 AM  

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The Lovely She, that is me!

I'm a mom of three peeps ... Queen Bee, The Door Man, and the Chandelier Monkey, and wife to Ace, the Helpful Hardware Man. I created this space to get away from the people known as my inlaws, and because life with three kids and a hubby is all Unexplored Territory.

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The nine-year-old who seems to be growing older every minute, has an opinion and a comment for everything, and has a true servant's heart.
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The seven-year-old who loves the organization of things, will someday be someone's therapist because of his kind soul, and will more than likely be living with us until he is 40 years old.
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The five-year-old with the 13-year-old attitude, who has a dictator's personality, asks you to watch her all the time and say "hold on" to keep your attention, and will someday come home on the back of some dude's motorcycle with 10 tatts and a body piercing or two.

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The man of the house, the fixer of things, the winner of prizes, and the only person in his family to escape the South.

Oh Queenie....
In need of Extreme Makeover:Home Edition
Ah yes... summer in my hometown
What a wonderful day
Are attitudes learned?
Garage Sales
Time for a change
GAH! I HATE toys!!!!
A pet peeve


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