Friday, June 16, 2006

And you would find that word where in the dictionary?

Editing to add this: Cureal is not how they have spelled it ... I misspoke. It is cureall.

So my little brain started working and do they mean... cure all?

Sometimes it takes me five years... but I do catch on eventually.

Confused ... read on.
E-mail spam. I hate it. I loathe receiving it. There has GOT to be a better use of my time than having to delete 150 of these messages a day. You think I exaggerate? I don't.

I have two e-mail accounts. One for a little online business that I own, and my personal one. I would have to say the accounts compete with one another for the largest number of spam messages received in one day. If left alone, my business account would accumulate 100 messages a day, and I have to weed through those to get to my customers' e-mails.

And do you know what drives me the MOST insane? The fact that these messages are creating their own dictionary.

Sure, there have been variations of the English language. The most recent was the new word: mort'gage.

This is the one that really gets under my skin:

Our store is your cureall.

WTH? Can you please use that word in a sentence?

No, your store ISN'T my cureall. You don't even know what cureal means. You made that up. So how can it be my cureall if you can't explain to me what cureall means?

And then there are the messages with the lines upon lines of characters. Is that supposed to be a word? or is it just meant to drive me insane, trying to figure out what the real meaning behind it is?

Seriously. Whoever it is that is sending these damn messages out .... give me something that is useful.

I don't have a penis, so I don't need a penis enlarger.

How did you know I was overweight? can you see me? did you see me eat that Krispy Kreme this morning?

I am not at all interested in using your fly-by-night mortgage company to refinance my house. No way, no how. Any finance company that has its corporate HQ in Nigeria need not send me anymore messages.

Shame of sex? We can change it. Really? Shame of what sex? I am happy that I am a female. I don't think you CAN change that, can you? If so, no thanks.

And how can you send me that type of message right before the message from my pastor about our church update? Blasphemers. All of you!

Here's another one, just received in my business account: Hi, mid-current. Well, hello there.

I am going to invest a large sum of money that will develop a program that spits back sappy, Spiritual messages to these people. The ones with those midi files that play Amazing Grace and has a really saccharine-sweet picture of an angel ascending from Heaven. And it will tell them they are all going to hell because they told me one too many times that their store is my cureal.


Blogger jayne d'Arcy said...

I had to do this after reading this post: Googled - "Cureal’s natural anti-septic formula to help fight infections, and powerful antioxidants provide numerous health benefits."

Please don't hit me. I've enjoyed lurking here in the past. :)

8:30 PM  
Blogger Knitting Maniac said...

Actually you know how they are spelling it? Cureall. With two L's.

I won't hit you.... I might bump ya, but won't hit ya!

8:55 PM  
Anonymous Jason Looney said...

I read it as "cureal" for months, too. It's always bothered me in the back of my brain. Today I finally decided to look that word up, only to find it was "cureall".

You are not alone.

12:13 PM  
Blogger Nerdbeard said...

Ohhhhh. Cure *ALL*! Jebus, thanks so much. That's like having an itch scratched.

3:00 PM  

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