Tuesday, July 11, 2006

Why family planning is not a community endeavor

When Ace and I started having children, we started off with one. You know, that sweet little thing that sleeps in the carseat at dinner. That sweet little thing that gets compliments about her big hazel eyes. That sweet little thing that smiles when a stranger would pay attention to her.

Then we added another. You know, that sweet little thing has a brother now. Isn't that precious, but boy ... what is the age difference between them? Wow. You sure had them close together (when hearing the answer of 23 months). Imagine the looks I received when I had a toddler in tow, and was extremely pregnant.

Then we added that third one. Now we have gone from "aren't they a precious family?" to "what in the hell did you have three kids for?" stares in restaurants.

We have gone from "look at those two ... they could be TWINS! (and really, the Door Man and Queen Bee have been mistaken for twins on more than one occasion)" to "you know, they have a cure for those kids ... it's called birth control" comments.

We have gone from "I bet they play wonderfully together, and how smart you were to have them so close together" to "what in the hell were you thinking, having THREE kids so close together" statements (all unsolicited, of course).

And then there is this morning. The chilluns and I got into the family roadster and headed off to that thar learnin' place with all them thar books ... the libairy. Man... we was in for some GOOD times....

There was a man sitting in the lobby and he looked at me with my three in tow and said "WOW! you have your hands full! (I ABHOR LOATHE HATE DESPISE that comment)." It is like people feel that they can make a comment about your family size once you have that extra kid above two. Normally when I get that comment, I just smile and say "yep... we were tired of man to man defense so hubby and I wanted to move to zone. Works much better."

I just smiled in return. Seeing my smile as an invitation to make yet another comment, he said "wow... are all them yours?"

Smiling more I responded "Oh these are just the three most well-behaved ones. I left the other five in the van because they weren't listening to me."

12 Comments:

Blogger Wander said...

You go girl! That retort about leaving the other five in the van was priceless and really made my day.
Had three myself. A daughter and a set of twin boys. You'd be surprise at how many time's I got asked if the boys were twins. Duh, they are dressed alike, they are the same size and hell half the time I couldn't even tell them apart.

3:26 PM  
Blogger Tonya said...

Great comeback! I watch children in my home plus have two of my own. On the rare occasion that I've taken them to the store to pick up something desperately needed, I get the same sort of comments. I can understand it when I go clomping through the store with 6 kids in tow, but for 3 children? Whatever.

4:33 PM  
Blogger Knitting Maniac said...

Yeah... I mean, I have a few friends who have four, five, and one lady I know has TEN!!! kids. I could not imagine. I think when you get to ten kids, people just move out of your way and applaud.

5:26 PM  
Blogger Kel said...

I get the "I bet you have your hands full" comment with just 2 kids. I can't tell you how much I roll my eyes after I walk away from them.

8:07 PM  
Blogger The "Mind" said...

I get the hands full comment when people find out I have three b~o~y~s. As if having all of one sex is somehow more work than if they were mixed. LOL!

LOVE your comment.

11:08 PM  
Blogger Awesome Mom said...

I get the hands full comment all the time and I only have two. A stranger in a store asked if they were twins and his wife looked at him in disbelief at his idiocy. I hate to think of the looks we will get if we decide to add more to our family but hey I could really care less by now. I loved your comeback.

2:37 AM  
Blogger Suburban Turmoil said...

Ha! I never thought about this- People can be so dumb.

9:17 AM  
Blogger Elleoz said...

I have two and they are 14 months a part. I have gotten every single one of those comments before...sometimes in one conversation! Isn't it lovely?

And I still get the "Are they twins"? sure people, one is just a dwarf!

Why do people feel the need to express their opinions on others lives out loud? Their Momma's should have taught them better.

10:51 AM  
Blogger Karmyn R said...

My Sister-in-law had 3 kids in 2yrs-9months - and yes, she got all those remarks....

I wish I had a good comback line for you - but having children has diminished my brain cells. Hang in there!!!

10:39 PM  
Blogger MamaKaren said...

Fabulous comeback! All three of my kids look alike, and I get "Are they twins?!" about the boys (almost exactly 2 years apart) and I get "Wow, you can tell they are all yours!" (wha?!) Or, my favorite, "You don't look old enough to have three children" If I had stopped after the Princess was born instead of having her brothers, would I be younger now?

10:40 AM  
Anonymous Stephanie said...

Love it, ha ha ha. I get those comments all the time. My three are less that a year apart, and "you must have your hands full" is probably one of the nicest comments out of the bunch I get. I've nearly biten through my tongue on more than occasion (a day)... People really should just keep their eye balls planted firmly in their head and the lips sealed shut!

12:19 PM  
Blogger Laura said...

Haha! It's funny - people mentioned all the comments I would get when I was engaged/planning a wedding. I got no comments. I wonder if I had kids, if I still wouldn't get any? I'm hoping so. I don't like it when people talk to me. Lol!

1:59 PM  

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The Lovely She, that is me!

I'm a mom of three peeps ... Queen Bee, The Door Man, and the Chandelier Monkey, and wife to Ace, the Helpful Hardware Man. I created this space to get away from the people known as my inlaws, and because life with three kids and a hubby is all Unexplored Territory.

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The nine-year-old who seems to be growing older every minute, has an opinion and a comment for everything, and has a true servant's heart.
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The seven-year-old who loves the organization of things, will someday be someone's therapist because of his kind soul, and will more than likely be living with us until he is 40 years old.
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The five-year-old with the 13-year-old attitude, who has a dictator's personality, asks you to watch her all the time and say "hold on" to keep your attention, and will someday come home on the back of some dude's motorcycle with 10 tatts and a body piercing or two.

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The man of the house, the fixer of things, the winner of prizes, and the only person in his family to escape the South.

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Just don't let me stand next to a computer monitor...
Give her some love!
Pass the bong but don't tell the Pastor
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Things we get honestly
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