Thursday, October 19, 2006
Third Roommate Syndrome
Low man on the totem pole.
As a third child, I knew what it was like to play third fiddle to a lot of things my older siblings were doing or had already done. However, there was enough age difference between my brother and my sister and I. There is a total of 11 years between my brother and I, and around six years between Mini Martha and I. So I really never had to live in the shadow of anybody. And, it wasn't like my brother and sister made stellar decisions when they were growing up. I was known as "the good kid," the "princess," the "queen of the castle." So I pretty much grew up as an only child.
My kids, on the other hand, are stair-stepped. And it is funny to watch to see who gravitates to whom. The Door Man and the Monkey are practically best friends, but when they are on each other's last nerve, man watch out.
Then there are times when Queen and the Monkey are sweet sisters. The Queen takes on more of a motherly role, so any real playing that happens is in the sense of big and little sister as opposed to companions playing with one another.
So I see a lot of selection happening, and I expect that. It is only natural.
However, what ISN'T natural is when we receive an invitation to a kids' party and the older two children are invited, but the youngest is not.
We received such an invitation last night from my choir director's wife. They are holding a fall party on the night of our local Halloween parade. On the front of the invite are the two olders' names .. but no Monkey's. I pointed that out to Ace, and he just shrugged his shoulders.
When I saw her that night, I asked for clarification. And her response was a non-committal "well I wasn't sure if she was old enough. I asked the girls (her kids) if they thought she was old enough, and they thought she was."
Well then, if you are listening to your children, how is it that the Monkey's name isn't on the invite?
I will tolerate my kids being selective with who they want to play with when it comes to one another. However, I will not allow an outsider select which of my children attend a KIDS' costume party. That is downright unfair. You get all of them or none of them. Sorry.
I'm a mom of three peeps ... Queen Bee, The Door Man, and the Chandelier Monkey, and wife to Ace, the Helpful Hardware Man. I created this space to get away from the people known as my inlaws, and because life with three kids and a hubby is all Unexplored Territory.
TT # 15