Unexplored Territory

Saturday, April 22, 2006

Doritos and Moon Pie

Really ... here is my question: who has Moon Pies in their household cupboards on a regular basis? My father in law doesn't even keep these stocked, and he was raised on RC Cola and Moon Pies.

This afternoon, I called Ace to see how the Door Man's soccer game was going, and he said "where are you?" to which I responded that I was at the church. He said they were pulling in. So I go out, scoop up the Chanderlier Monkey, who emitted that overwhelming smell of Doritos. I thought maybe she had them for lunch (you see, my very dear friend, Robin, took Jenna for the morning so I wouldn't go SO crazy trying to get my stuff done), so I didn't think anymore about it.

One of the kids in Queen Bee's elementary choir made a comment about how the Monkey smelled like Doritos. Yeah... thanks, kid. Now get my kid off your lap and go listen to your director before I have a come to Jesus talk with ya. Ace says ... yeah. Those are the Door Man's Doritos she was eating. That was part of the Door Man's snack. Doritos and Moon Pies.

Seriously. Could there be any MORE of a disgusting combination? I asked Ace if they handed out 20 ounce bottles of the Dew to wash it down with. Ace smiled, but never agreed or disagreed. That means they could have, but Ace drank it in 20 seconds flat.

To me, there is nothing more disgusting, other than Ale-8-1 (you Southerners know what that is), than Doin' the Dew. I am not sure if it is an urban legend, but I heard tell once that Diet Dew has more acidity than human urine. Probably should Snopes that sometime.

So if you happen to drive by my house and see an extremely wired five year old boy, still in his soccer attire, hanging from his swingset, blame it on the Moon Pie.

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I'm a mom of three peeps ... Queen Bee, The Door Man, and the Chandelier Monkey, and wife to Ace, the Helpful Hardware Man. I created this space to get away from the people known as my inlaws, and because life with three kids and a hubby is all Unexplored Territory.

The nine-year-old who seems to be growing older every minute, has an opinion and a comment for everything, and has a true servant's heart.

The seven-year-old who loves the organization of things, will someday be someone's therapist because of his kind soul, and will more than likely be living with us until he is 40 years old.

The five-year-old with the 13-year-old attitude, who has a dictator's personality, asks you to watch her all the time and say "hold on" to keep your attention, and will someday come home on the back of some dude's motorcycle with 10 tatts and a body piercing or two.

The man of the house, the fixer of things, the winner of prizes, and the only person in his family to escape the South.