Monday, July 31, 2006

Proof positive of why you should never send a child to do a woman's work

Yesterday morning, the whole family was running late for church. Queen Bee could not find a THING to go with her new shoes. She finally settled on the new outfit I bought her. The Monkey did NOT want to go to the bathroom, but Mother Nature finally ran its course. And the Door Man wouldn't put on his shoes.

Ok .... and Mom didn't get in the shower until ... oh ... 8. Ace followed shortly thereafter. At T-minus 10 and counting, Ace finally loaded the girls up in the van, and the Door Man and I were to follow in the car.

We make it outside, get in the car, make it about 1/2 block down the street when I realize .... shit. I forgot my feminine supplies. I waffled on whether I would go back and get them, and decided that I would hate myself if I didn't.

We sped back home, and instead of taking matters into my own hands, I decide to send the Door Man in for them.

Yeah... I like to traumatize my kids. So sue me.

"Hey ... run inside REALLLY quick ... go into Mommy's bathroom and on my counter are two green things that are about this (showing him the length) big ... can you run in and get them?"

Running is a new art form for the Man. He doesn't run. He lopes. Like a horse. Seriously. It is seriously a three-gaited lope, and no he doesn't have three legs.

He comes back out, hand clenched in a fist, shit-eating grin on his face. Uh oh... this could mean one of two things: (1) he is really proud of himself because he found exactly what I needed him to find or (2) his mother's mean streak has come out and he brought something totally wrong out to me.

He chose the latter.




However ... I have to hand it to him. They both stop things up.


Anonymous Stephanie said...

Ha ha ha ha ha... I love it! Good work little Man!

4:26 PM  
Anonymous christie said...

cracking up...hey, does this mean you aren't using that cup-thinying-majigy-bob? what was it? the keeper?

miss you. alot.



6:59 PM  
Blogger Knitting Maniac said...

No in fact, I am still using the Diva Cup. In fact, I prefer that to those green things, hands-down. I just had bought those green things at Tarjay as an emergency purchase, and I didn't want the Man to have to handle the Cup. Now THAT would be grounds for intentional inflicton of emotional distress, I think!

Miss you, too C!!!!

8:37 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...


His future wife will be thanking you for training him so well.

11:02 AM  
Blogger Mamacita Tina said...

Kids, they're smart, or lucky, or both. Too funny!

11:39 AM  

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The Lovely She, that is me!

I'm a mom of three peeps ... Queen Bee, The Door Man, and the Chandelier Monkey, and wife to Ace, the Helpful Hardware Man. I created this space to get away from the people known as my inlaws, and because life with three kids and a hubby is all Unexplored Territory.

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