Wednesday, January 24, 2007
Do you notice a theme here?
Well, when Tara was here, she blah blah blah.
Well, when Tara delivered, she was in this same room.
Well, when Tara was in labor, blah blah blah.
One can only take SO much of that kind of conversation.
And when my niece was wheeled back into recovery after her section, my sister kept trying to get people out of the room. But my niece's husband wouldn't listen, and neither would his family. So the husband stood in the room, holding the baby, and my sister was monitoring the whole situation. She could see that the MIL was getting antsy to hold the baby, and then my sister stepped in.
She asked her daughter if SHE had had the chance to hold the baby. And she hadn't. And then she dozed off to sleep.
The MIL's comment: Well then, I guess noone gets to hold the baby.
Damn straight, woman.
When my children were born, my mother steered clear of the hospitals, but my sister and my niece were there. They were very non-obtrusive.
When the Queen was born, I was in labor most of the day, and then Ace called his parents. They were only one hour away, so they hopped right in their car and came over.
And they stayed. And stayed. And when the Queen was born and had a rough start to life, they stayed. I was taken to my room at about 2 in the morning, was poked and prodded for most of the night, got little to no sleep, and my inlaws went home.
They were back. At 8 in the morning. With no forewarning that they were coming.
They stayed ALL DAY LONG. They didn't go home until 10:30 that night. And they were in MY room. Don' t mind me. I just shoved a 9 pound 9 ouncer out of my body.
They were back the next day. Bright and early. They walked in no sooner than I had gotten dressed from my shower. And they came with reinforcements, Ace's uncle and aunt. They were there ALL day long.
They were back the next day when the Queen was released to pediatrics, and we were set up in a room across the hallway to live in with her.
I finally had to encourage Ace to kick them out. And their nose was out of joint. We didn't hear from them for a while, and it really didn't bother me all that much.
When the Man was born, we set boundaries. We told them (and MY family) that we were limited visitation, because I was going to give nursing a try. I didn't want to have my boob hanging out, and some family member walking in.
Well, you can well imagine that that concept went over like a lead balloon.
They stopped speaking to us for two weeks. When they finally did speak to us, it was only to tell us that they were going straight up to Toledo just for the birth, and then they were heading home. All because they couldn't have their way.
On the day before delivery, they drove straight through our town and didn't even stop to see their first grandchild. Classy.
I saw my FIL once on the day of delivery: right after the Man was born. He stopped in, my MIL took a look at the Man, my FIL glanced at him, and uttered NO words to me. No congratulations. No how are you? No NOTHING.
And then they left to go back to Kentucky.
A few weeks later, I got into a shouting match on the phone with my FIL. And to this day, I don't think they have ever seen the error of their actions. To them, they were justified in this pissy, childish fit. To this day, I still cannot believe they acted the way they did.
So when I witnessed the actions and interactions this weekend with my niece's family, I realized that when people become inlaws and grandparents, all bets are off on any kind of realistic human behavior.
I'm a mom of three peeps ... Queen Bee, The Door Man, and the Chandelier Monkey, and wife to Ace, the Helpful Hardware Man. I created this space to get away from the people known as my inlaws, and because life with three kids and a hubby is all Unexplored Territory.
Baby lust, oh baby lust