Unexplored Territory

Saturday, July 07, 2007

Daily Docket Doozies

Although none of these (except the last one) stands out as being particularly humorous, when you read them together, I think a common theme prevails.... and that is, the residents of this little town need to take some anger-management lessons.

Check it out ... keep reading for the best one... you will be rewarded. I promise. Ok ... no you won't. But it is funny.

A man was arrested for assault on Thursday after punching his pregnant girlfriend in the nose and stomach at their esidence.

Police were called to a domestic dispute on Thursday after a woman reported that her husband picked up and threw the family dog during an argument.

A man reported Thursday that an Oldsmobile struck a utility pole in his yard and drove away. He told officers he has seen the same white male hit the utility pole with his car several times in the past.

An employee at a local convenience store reported being harassed by a customer on Thursday after she told the man he would have to leave the store because he wasn’t wearing a shirt. She said the man left the building but was threatening to harm her from outside.

A man was arrested for assaulting his girlfriend on Wednesday after hitting her in the face and “headbutting” her.
Deputies responded to a domestic dispute after a man verbally threatened his grandmother.

Here's where you will be well-paid for sticking it out ...

A woman was arrested for disorderly conduct and possession of marijuana after deputies found her stumbling on a local street on Friday. When officers asked if she had money for a cab home, the woman reached in her pocket to search for money and pulled out a plastic bag containing marijuana.

Labels: daily docket

Friday, June 01, 2007

Daily Docket Doozie

My dear friend, Kendra, was kind enough to bring this DDD to my attention this week ... it was in reference to the fact that strep was at my house for the second time in a matter of a month or so, and her comment was "at least you don't have THIS kid at your house..."

Two parents reported their 13-year-old son had stolen money and pornographic movies from their rural home and that he had also stolen a cell phone from his school.

That would be the PARENTS' porn, people. Could you imagine that conversation at their house?

I'm calling the cops!

But honey ... I can understand about the cell phone, and I don't mind you telling them about that ... but what about ... our ..... tapes?

I don't give a flip about the phone. I need my PORN back.

Labels: daily docket

Saturday, May 19, 2007

Daily Docket Doozie

Because the past few days have been filled with newsworthy items, I have failed to acknowledge one of the daily docket entries that appeared in the same newspaper edition as the story of the baby in the park and the Post Office bomb scare.

I can only imagine what this guy smelled like after this little stunt:

A motorcyclist - balancing a pizza on his lap - was arrested Tuesday for drunken driving and having no motorcycle endorsement in the 700 block of Western Avenue. Prior to refusing a breath test, the man consumed garlic sauce from the pizza box.

And from today's edition, here's another definition for "skid marks:"

A report that a man had been hit by a car on Sherry Street at 8 p.m. Thursday and had "tire tracks on his back" proved to be unfounded. The man had apparently jumped on a car, and fell off, after a girlfriend had taken it without his permission.

This dude probably got about 2 gallons of gas in this incident:

A man in a Ford Taurus fled Site, 1303 N. Main St., without paying for $40.01 worth of gasoline at about 11:45 a.m. Thursday.

Labels: daily docket

Friday, May 04, 2007

Daily Docket Doozie

The sad thing about this is, this is the store where my brother in law, the hunter, is the night stock manager. He is probably the one who had to deal with this flipping yahoo!

An inebriated man - wanted under three city warrants - was caught drinking a wine cooler inside Kroger, 101 Sixth St. He also tried to shoplift beef jerky, hot dogs and hair scrunchies in his pants. Prior to being taken into custody, he poured a wine cooler onto his head in the store Tuesday.

I would like to thank my friend, Kendra, who always has her eye out for these stories! She and I have the same sense of humor, and we always pick the same ones out! BTW Kendra... the ribbon has landed. Thanks so much!!! I will get that put together this weekend (at least the Queen's) so she can wear it Saturday night

Labels: daily docket

Saturday, April 28, 2007

Daily Docket Doozie

A man was arrested for possession of paraphernalia after police went to a house on a loud party complaint at 11:15 p.m. Thursday. The man was charged after he came out of the home to talk to police with a joint behind his ear. Officers also found a pot pipe in the residence.

Labels: daily docket

Monday, April 16, 2007

Daily Docket Doozie

Yet another fine example of the life in our small town:

A person with a blood alcohol content (BAC) of 0.204 was charged with driving under the influence Saturday after he was noticed driving 10 mph in the 1000 block of North Main Street. He admitted to an officer, "Between you and me, I should have been arrested tonight. I'm pretty drunk."

Labels: daily docket

Tuesday, March 13, 2007

Well.... hmmm.... let's see

Yeah. Nothing exciting to talk about today. Seriously. My life is one big boring round of routines right now that I bore even myself thinking about it.

Had an awesome time last Thursday getting out of the house and scrappin' with a few of the sistahs. Robin and Julie... what a great time. Kendra, sorry I couldn't get back over there ... but the Queen expected me to pick her up at Upward practice. Go fig.

One last game for Upward this weekend, and then the big night ... Let's Get Ready to Rumble....

Speaking of rumbling, check this gem out from our local docket this morning:

A resident reported that a neighbor at an apartment at 2800 S. Main St. was having a loud party at about 11:30 p.m. Friday. But when a deputy arrived, he found a tenant at the residence was only shampooing his carpets.

That was SOME party!!!

Ok so seriously ... I think this is the lamest post from me in a long time. I don't have anything witty to contribute, no words of advice, no anecdotes to be given.

Let's just chalk this one up to life.

Labels: daily docket, ramblings

Thursday, March 01, 2007

I lied

I have 5 minutes and I had to blog. Ace just read this little gem to me from our town's docket this morning:

Here's to the future of our town!

Charges of theft, forgery and possessing drug paraphernalia were filed
Monday against a Findlay teenager, age 16, who stole a check from a city
mailbox, forged and cashed the check, and used the money to buy marijuana. The
less-than-contrite suspect admitted to the misdeeds, telling investigators: "It
was worth it because the weed was good.

And apparently this is his supplier:

A youth was in trouble Tuesday for cultivating marijuana, after a parent
found two potted marijuana plants in his bedroom

Labels: daily docket

I'm a mom of three peeps ... Queen Bee, The Door Man, and the Chandelier Monkey, and wife to Ace, the Helpful Hardware Man. I created this space to get away from the people known as my inlaws, and because life with three kids and a hubby is all Unexplored Territory.

The nine-year-old who seems to be growing older every minute, has an opinion and a comment for everything, and has a true servant's heart.

The seven-year-old who loves the organization of things, will someday be someone's therapist because of his kind soul, and will more than likely be living with us until he is 40 years old.

The five-year-old with the 13-year-old attitude, who has a dictator's personality, asks you to watch her all the time and say "hold on" to keep your attention, and will someday come home on the back of some dude's motorcycle with 10 tatts and a body piercing or two.

The man of the house, the fixer of things, the winner of prizes, and the only person in his family to escape the South.