Saturday, August 05, 2006


Tomorrow, Ace takes off for the Brickyard with a friend. This is Ace's date for the week. Right now, he is on his way to pick up a "seat with a back" from my brother in law. We are most certain that it is camoflaged, because my BIL is big hunter/fisher/gatherer type of man. Who lives with my totally vegan sister. Yeah. Don't ask.

Ace has been practicing his hooping and hollering. He's been practicing his redneck accent. He has the crotch adjustment and farmer's kleenex method down pat. So watch out, NASCAR fans, Ace will be in Indy tomorrow!

And this got me to thinking. How much redneck do you have in you.

You have the local taxidermist on speed dial. This is my BIL. In fact, my BIL is doing his own taxidermy now.

The biggest city you've ever been to is Wal-Mart. I will be the first to admit: I love me some Wal Mart. You don't have to worry about yelling for your spouse across the store. You just have to be careful that you call him by his Christian name.

Your father executes the "pull my finger" trick during Christmas dinner. Dudes ... this is SOOOO my Dad. And now the Door Man has been initiated into the finger pulling hall of fame.

Down where you come from reruns of Hee Haw are called documentaries. Yeah. Both Ace and I watched Hee Haw. All the time.

But the biggest sign that you might be a redneck is this story from our local newspaper, which was covering the regional Antique Machinery Show (names removed to protect the rednecks).

But if you want a real orange experience, be in the fairground's north grandstand at 5:30 p.m. today. That's when YYYY YYYY and XXX XXXXX will be married in a ceremony that features the traditional wedding color of ... orange (this is the color of Allis-Chalmers, a tractor). The wedding will include groomsmen riding in on tractors, ring bearers riding on a homemade wagon, and the wedding couple exiting the ceremony on a customized two-seat 1934 WC model A-C tractor.


Blogger 2 cents said...

Funny! Half the people who live in the towns around me are rednecks. The only thing I can identify w/ from your list is that I love Walmart... don't think that makes me a redneck myself though.

1:32 AM  
Blogger Mamacita Tina said...


marriage on son would be in heaven!

7:39 AM  
Blogger Pass The Torch said...

Today's the last day to enter the Pass the Torch contest. I hope you'll still enter! I can email you the button code as well.


8:30 AM  
Blogger Pass The Torch said...

By the way, there's a whole lotta redneck in our family too. Your examples are QUITE familiar to me;)

8:32 AM  
Anonymous Angela said...

Wow, this bring to mind of friend of mine. They're getting married next year and they are planning on camoflage vests/suits and the bridesmaids are going to wear camoflage dresses. Does this smack of redneckism?

11:49 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Ace got to see my man Mr. Sadler crash out on lap 3 in person. Lucky man (Ace, not Elliott).

A tractor wedding, huh? Too funny.

Although...and I'm not sure I should admit this but...the thought of getting married on the start/finish line of some racetrack somewhere has crossed my mind. However, I decided that was too redneck and have instead focused all my hopes on getting married at center ice at the Joe Louis arena with the officiant wearing referee stripes. I think that means I'm Canadian now. LOLOL!

11:46 PM  

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I'm a mom of three peeps ... Queen Bee, The Door Man, and the Chandelier Monkey, and wife to Ace, the Helpful Hardware Man. I created this space to get away from the people known as my inlaws, and because life with three kids and a hubby is all Unexplored Territory.

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