Saturday, November 25, 2006

About that plastic bag

It was NOT me who used it. So no worries there.

We had taken off around 3 CST for Nashville ... actually, Franklin, TN. We were having good traffic conditions down through 65 into Tennessee. Then Ace's dad radios back and says "I have a feeling the bubble is going to burst any minute now."

And sure enough, stand-still traffic. Nothing horrendous because there is a major interchange outside of Nashville with 65 going one way, and 40 going the other (which is the route to take to Memphis). So we got out of that pretty unscathed. I was keeping the kids pretty well occupied throughout that leg because it was just sundown, the lights were on, there are those new digital billboards on the side of the road, and the lights of downtown were mesmerizing. We commented on all the buildings, especially the one with the two spires. The last time we were in Nashville, I think it was the Verizon building? I can't remember anymore.

Anywho, we started off on our other leg... the final one before Franklin and I hear this voice in the backseat. The Monkey exclaims "I HAVE TO GO PEE PEE!!!" I told her she had to wait because we had nowhere to pull off at that moment as the van was reaching a maximum of 4 mph and stopping every 3 seconds.

That placated her. For five minutes.

"I HAVE TO PEE PEE NOW!"

Well, ok then. I look around. We don't have any leftover cups. The only thing we had was the cooler, which Ace suggested, plastic bags, and water bottles.

The thought of my child peeing in a cooler was not a cool one to me. So I decided to give the plastic bag a whirl.

But it couldn't be ANY plastic bag. It had to be one with an eraser-sized hole at the bottom.

Well of course it did.

So I tied up that end, threw a bunch of napkins in the bottom of it, and had the Monkey unhook from her carseat. She came on up and we pulled her pants down, inserted her tiny legs in the handles, yanked the bag up as far as it could go, and she sat on my lap.

She is not an instant peer under the best of circumstances. So you can imagine the distractions of (1) sitting on your Mom's lap (2) with a plastic bag on your butt (3) looking out the window in a traffic jam and (4) sitting under the Nashville Airport's air traffic pattern on the night before Thanksgiving.

She FINALLY peed. And I thought "WOW! We could do that all the time! I AM THE CHAMPION!!!"

Until I pulled the bag off my leg and saw the wet spot. And had to sit for the next 20 minutes, holding a bag of pee.

But the best part was walking into Ace's cousin's house, carrying a plastic bag of pee, and watching Ace place that pee in their trashcan!!!!!

And now that I think about, I never washed those pants.

7 Comments:

Blogger Bellezza said...

I knew it wasn't YOU who had to pee. I'm afraid my email, about myself as a child, started that trail of thought. Sorry...;)

6:11 PM  
Anonymous Pass the Torch said...

I have a new blog title for you:

MacGyver Mom.

8:35 PM  
Blogger Blazer1234 said...

LOL!!! Oh my goodness, that is a story to remember for a long, long time!

8:41 PM  
Blogger Awesome Mom said...

That was a great idea, too bad that it did not work out as planned. There are many times that I am glad that my kids are still in diapers and long car trips are one of them.

12:35 AM  
Blogger The "Mind" said...

Oh, man, nevermind my comment in your previous post about using a quality bag. Seems you didn't get away as unscathed as I had assumed. Damn me for assuming.

That is quite ingenious of you though. MacGyver Mom. Yes, I think that fits you.

12:09 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Brilliant idea! Ours are all potty trained, but if we know it's going to be a long trip, they wear pullups just in case. At least keep a couple in the car so you can change her before she goes. Even change her again after she goes. Kinda like a port-a-potty.

9:55 PM  
Blogger Mamacita Tina said...

You just won MOM OF THE YEAR! Wow, the things we moms do. I like the title "MacGyver Mom," very appropriate.

7:48 AM  

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The Lovely She, that is me!

I'm a mom of three peeps ... Queen Bee, The Door Man, and the Chandelier Monkey, and wife to Ace, the Helpful Hardware Man. I created this space to get away from the people known as my inlaws, and because life with three kids and a hubby is all Unexplored Territory.

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The nine-year-old who seems to be growing older every minute, has an opinion and a comment for everything, and has a true servant's heart.
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The man of the house, the fixer of things, the winner of prizes, and the only person in his family to escape the South.

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