Tuesday, November 21, 2006

I leave you to discuss this

This morning, we will embark upon our trek across Ohio, Kentucky, and Tennessee to share stories and turkey with people we haven't seen for over four years. Certainly blogging stories will abound, so I will keep my eye open for those opporunities.

However ... I leave you with this as a matter of discussion:

Would you have told her?

I was listening to our local AM station this morning like I do every morning. This morning, however, there was sad news. Our police dog, Flip, was shot and killed after he had wandered away from his owner's/fellow police officer's house. The neighbor who shot and killed him admitted that the dog was showing no signs of aggression.

Flip had made appearances at our local program called Safety Town. My kids loved him, as did all of the kids.

I wasn't going to tell Queen Bee of Flip's demise.

But guess who walked back here about 20 minutes ago, tears streaming down her face, clutching the picture of Flip that she had cut out of this morning's newspaper?

I called Ace back here, who informed me that Queen saw the picture and inquired as to why Flip was on the front page. So he told her.

She is eight. And she is sensitive. She will look at someone and start crying.

I told him that I wasn't going to tell her at all but when faced with having to tell her, I told him he could have lied and said Flip won an award.

But that is lying. Right? And we don't want to teach our kids to lie.

However, it isn't like the dog was hit and killed by a car. He was shot and killed.

So ... what would you have done?

I can't believe that I am sitting her admitting that I want to shield my child from the harsh realities of this world. I remember clucking my tongue when my sister told me that they hadn't told my niece that her grandfather had passed away until the DAY of the funeral. My niece was 13 at the time.

So.. some fodder for discussion until I return. Have a great Thanksgiving, Y'all!


Blogger Tonya said...

Here's my opinion, for what it's worth:

I wouldn't have told her until she had brought the picture to me. Then I would have told her that the dog had died, but I wouldn't have told her that he was shot. I would have said that she had an accident.

I totally believe in telling the truth, but you also have to take into account your child's age and temperament and tell them only what they are able to handle. Don't lie because they WILL catch you at it sometime. It will be hard to explain why you lied. It will be even tougher when they lie.

10:12 AM  
Blogger Tanis said...

I agree with tonya, I would have told her also. Knowing the truth was painfull for her but not as painful as it could have been if she had been lied to and then found out............

10:19 AM  
Anonymous maggie said...

I would of not said anything unless she asked. Then I would of told her the truth in pieces based on the feeling of what she could handle at the moment. Sometimes I do want my kids to know that their are sicko people out there but other times I feel I need to shield them.

1:26 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'm with Tonya. I wouldn't have said anything unless she asked/noticed the picture, and then I would have told her that he died.

She doesn't need to know the particulars of it, but outright lying about why the dog was in the paper could have come back around and bit you in the hiney.

1:52 PM  
Blogger Kristi said...

I concur with the previous posts.

Thank goodness I have a few years before having to deal with this.

9:43 PM  
Blogger Janean said...

Hate to be redundant, but I agree.
When a family friend took his own life, I found that too difficult to explain to my four year old. I said he died and that a bad guy did it (the friend was a security officer).
It WAS a bad guy...as my friend wasn't himself at the time. And when my son asked later (around age 12) I told him the truth. He understood why I had said what I said when I explained it to him.
It's true...all about the age and what they can handle.
Poor baby girl! Give her a hug from us.

2:33 AM  
Anonymous Robin said...

Carly and M are so similiar..very sensitive. I would have told her..I tend to be upfront on things like this. Carly brought home a book she made at school this week, in the front she had dedicated it to Grandma Betty, whom died about 3 years ago. She still remembers. She is still sad by it. But! Life, reality, it's all important. I believe in taking kids to funerals and such..they need to know.
Happy turkey day my friend, hope your trip is safe, no tumbles down steps...
I will talk to you when I return, which will be in about 10 days. God help us all :)
Love ya!

7:07 AM  
Blogger Bellezza said...

I believe it is necessary to be truthful at all times with our children. If they can't trust us, who will they be able to trust? And, the world is not a safe, pretty place. All of the time. I think they need to be gently guided into this understanding.

I would have told your daughter. Just as they have to trust us for truth, we have to trust them for strength.

8:10 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I think it depends on the child's age and maturity.

So are all you 100% truthful ladies going to tell your kids about Santa Claus?

10:23 PM  
Anonymous Kim said...

If she had asked me, I would have told her the dog had died. If she asked me how, I would have told her the truth, probably. As someone else said, if she had heard the actual truth on the news or from a friend, you can bet she wouldn't take it lightly that you had not told her the truth.

And to Anonymous--Yes, if my kids ask me point blank if I am Santa, I tell them yes and explain that Santa isn't a person, per se, but a grand idea that happens around the world at Christmas.

9:19 AM  
Blogger Knitting Maniac said...

Thanks for all the input and comments. And to anon, I will tell my kids when they are ready for the "truth" of that.

7:29 PM  

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I'm a mom of three peeps ... Queen Bee, The Door Man, and the Chandelier Monkey, and wife to Ace, the Helpful Hardware Man. I created this space to get away from the people known as my inlaws, and because life with three kids and a hubby is all Unexplored Territory.

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