Unexplored Territory

Thursday, August 09, 2007

Come on .... you all be jealous now

A rite of passage is occuring this evening.

My last concert was Alannis Morissette. LOVED it. Cinci. Still remember it like it was yesterday.

Tonight, my daughter's first concert.

Corbin Bleu from the High School Muscial series, and Drake Bell, from Drake and Josh on Nick. And then some unfortunate girl thrown in there ... I don't even know her. Of course, how WELL do I know the aforementioned boys?

Ohio State Fair. 97 degree stormy weather.

Good times, people. GOOD times.

For some reason, the scene from Twister keeps playing out in my mind where they are all at the drive-in theater and the tornado hits (I say this jokingly, but there is still a tornado warning for a town directly north of us right now, and really nasty weather coming in from Indy right now).

More tomorrow, people.

Labels: concerts, kids

Sunday, August 05, 2007

So really ... what happened

during the week that I was posting about our vacay?

Ummm... really?

Nothing.

Literally N.O.T.H.I.N.G.

Well ok. Maybe not nothing. But close to it.

The older two finished out their two weeks of swimming lessons. The Man passed his level; the Queen, who does not take failure well, did not. Repeat offender, as they would say in Raising Arizona.

Ace saw The Simpsons. Said he laughed his butt off, but I haven't been threatened with hearing the funniest part of the movie yet.

Fell asleep during the last three minutes of Top Chef, so I didn't get to see who got the axe. But I know now.

Giggled A LOT on Wednesday night ... felt like I was back in college.

The Monkey and I spent some time at the park. One of those days, Queen joined us ... that will be a post in itself right there.

And the week ended with a bang when we found out that the Monkey is not allergic to bee stings.

Oh yeah, and finsihed up with one class and will be starting to teach Contract Law tomorrow night. Let the good times begin!

Labels: kids, mindless blabbering, teaching

Friday, June 29, 2007

Timing is everything

I pride myself as an individual who has a pretty good sense of humor, and pretty good timing. Am I standup material? No. Not by any stretch of the imagination. But I do love a good laugh, and I do love to make people laugh. At all times. My goal every Wednesday night is to drive the choir director crazy and crack a joke or two. Most of the time it works. Sometimes, the only person who laughs is one guy who totally gets my sense of humor. But hey ... you'll have that.

I love it when the kids have good timing, too.

Case in point: a few months ago, the Monkey decided to entertain us with her rendition of a choir song the Kinderchoir sang during their spring program. God Wants Us To Do Right ... Do Right .... Do Right. God Wants Us To Do Right Do Right Do Right Do Right. Stupid.

That was exactly what she said. Stupid. In perfect time with the song. Timing is everything.

A few weeks ago, we were eating dinner. The Man was in his usual shoveling food in his mouth as fast as it could go mode, and the Monkey was busy picking at her food and offering the evening's entertainment. The Queen had already gotten up from the table. The Monkey was doing something monkey-ish, and I told her she needed to settle down. She kept it up. I looked at her and said "you need to STOP this instant. You look like a MONKEY!"

The Man with his head in his plate, shoveling food in at a constant rate, not looking up states matter of factly ...." and you smell like one, too." Timing is everything.

Maybe I'm raising some jokesters. Maybe not. But they are trying, and I'm proud of that.

Labels: joking, kids

Wednesday, June 27, 2007

On your marks ...

Get set..... Go.

The Queen decided that she wanted to try out for the traveling soccer team this year.

On one hand, I hoped she would make it. On the other, I had heard of the more grueling schedule, the travel, the money, etc. and I was kind of hoping ... just kind of hoping ... she wouldn't make it.

She did. The "A" team, whatever that is supposed to mean. That probably means "you are more Away than here when you play your games."

We have a parent informational meeting in a few weeks where we get to hear exactly what is involved in this circus life.

And we received a phone call two days ago from someone, asking if the Queen would like to attend a soccer camp. For 68.75. After I had JUST spent 75 on another soccer camp.

Well sure ... I'm made of money.

And they put it to you like this: Hi! This is so and so from the soccer league. We are calling the U-9 teams to see if they can make a soccer camp where we are trying to get all the traveling teams together and get to know one another. We would love to have the Queen there, if it is at all possible. Oh... by the way ...shell out 68.75 for four days of camp for 2 1/2 hours each day.

First, who can say no to that opportunity when it is presented in such manner. Second, who can say no to someone who will take your kid for 2 1/2 hours in the morning.

And thus it all begins.

However, I will have to say ... this soccer stuff ... with having THREE kids playing it this year ... has gotten me out of traveling 2 hours, one way, to a choir kickoff event. Don't even get me started on WHY the powers that be have decided that the choir should have to take 8 hours out of a Saturday to spend time with one another when we already spend enough time with each other during the week. That is two hours to get there, FOUR hours to be there, and two hours to come home. I mean ... really.

So I just can't leave Ace to have to get three kids to three different soccer events, especially if one of them is out of town. Just wouldn't work.

Labels: kids, traveling soccer

Monday, June 25, 2007

Most Likely To....

When I was in high school, we had those stupid popularity elections. No, not homecoming court. We had that, too. I'm talking about when the seniors pass around a ballot with the "Most Likely Tos" and we had to vote the people who were "Most Likely To."

Most Likely To Succeed
Ok. I think that was the only Most Likely To...

Then there was Cutest Couple, Worst Driver, Class Clown, Most Athletic.... all those things that let an already self-conscious teenager worry about their popularity just a little bit more.

Our Most Likely To Succeed ended up marrying her high school loser of a sweetheart after having dropped out of college in her freshman year. They ended up as a divorce statistic, and now she is a single mom, raising their kids.

Our Cutest Couple broke up their freshman year in college (or should I say hers because he never went to college) because she was unfaithful. She ended up calling me my first year working at Cedar Point to let me know that she was pregnant with some boy's kid (the boy had JUST graduated from our high school). They also married, stayed married for a while, and they also ended up a divorce statistic. But that was AFTER they had separated and divorced due to his infidelity, and then again remarried one year after their divorce was final. Yeah. That one was meant to last....

Our Most Athletic never reached college athletic fame at all. I don't even think either of them went out for college sports.

I was (no surprise here) voted Class Clown and ... get this ... Worst Driver. Never ONCE had an accident, so I have no idea how that one was bestowed upon me. The Class Clown one ... well, that one was rightfully earned.

So I look at my kids and I have to wonder .... who will they be in school? Not that I think they will win popularity contests. I just wonder what their personalities will be.

The Queen will probably be "Most Likely To Drive Her Classmates Crazy Because She Always Has To Be Right" Or "Class Pushover" because of her Clark Kent nature.

I know the Man will be "Class Clown." Or "Most Possessive Of His Belongings."

The Monkey ... she's a total tossup. She could be "Class Suck Up" or "Heaviest Metal Rocker" or "I Can't Believe She Has That Many Body Piercings And Her Parents Haven't Thrown Her Out Yet."

It is fun to watch them grow up into these ... people. I think I have been so mired in the "WHEN will this stage EVER stop" to really step back and look at them for who they are now, and who they will potentially become.

I just hope I live through it all without losing my sanity.

Labels: kids

Thursday, June 07, 2007

Take a ride on my slide

We are giving some personal touches to teacher's gifts this year. Instead of buying the standardized, silly teacher gift, the Queen is writing a personal note for her retiring second grade teacher, and putting it in a photo frame with a picture I took of them together yesterday afternoon.

So I thought it would be nice to have the Man draw a picture for his teacher, who is finishing her first year of teaching in her own classroom.

Now, we have been teasing the Man about having a little crush on her.

Apparently there was some truth to that crush...

This is what he drew for her:

It's a slide people... get your minds out of the gutter. I haven't been able to, and neither has Robin. But maybe you can....

Labels: artwork, kids, teacher's gifts

Tuesday, June 05, 2007

Divas in Different Degrees

The Monkey is a free spirit. Around the house. But when it comes to performing for people, she just isn't into it. She is all about the attention here. She loves to get it. She craves it. She basks in it.

But turn that attention on her in a public setting, and I am not sure if sheer stubborness sets in, and she won't do what everyone else is doing, or she is just shy.

Today, the Monkey decided that she would sing NOTHING of her preschool program. She knew all of the words. She knew what she was doing. She just didn't want to. I got the same thing out of her for the KinderChoir performance.

Queen started off the same way. She didn't sing for her three year old program in preschool. And with her being the first kid out of the chute, I was livid. I mean ... seriously. I was livid. I couldn't understand WHY she wouldn't sing. She just stood there in front of everyone, and didn't open her mouth once. She didn't do any of the motions. Nothing.

Fast forward a few years, and she is starting to come out of her shell. She still has a shy streak, but she is taking on more and more as she gets older. I was really surprised that she wanted to try out for a part in the church presentation, and that she really enjoyed preparing and performing. So, deep down inside, I think she loves the attention.

So when the parents asked the Monkey today why she didn't feel like singing, I said "her sister... four years ago... same performance."

So I suppose there is hope for the Monkey.

But then.... she would go from this

To this

Maybe the Monkey IS the smarter of the two.

Labels: kids, performing

Tuesday, May 22, 2007

Living in total denial

I think I have been living in the land of denial.

Because as much as I love to think that I have things all under control, that control will be out the door in a few weeks.

When the kids are home for summer break.

June 8th. The magical day around here. Last day of school.

School's out for summer.

Remember that feeling? Remember that feeling of sleeping in just a little bit more that first weekday?

Remember that feeling of sheer freedom?

I do.

And I should have relished EVERY minute of it. Because that feeling gets to be in my kids now.

I get the feelings of panic and despair and onsetting mood swings.

Isn't there someplace in the United States where the kids go all year round?

Don't get me wrong... I love my kids. It is just that this is a small house. I have kids who want to be outside ALL the time. I also have someone who is going to be in the THIRD grade ... and she is BORED with the things her younger siblings do.

When I was her age, I was running all over the neighborhood with my friends. I was riding my bike ALL over the place.

Those days are gone, my friends.

So this summer I have planned to send the Queen to Brownie Day Camp for two days. My mother will be watching them three mornings a week, and Ace one of them for the month of June while I teach Legal Research (yes, I know... I said I was taking a break from teaching ... but this is a break from the night class, so it is all good). I am enrolling the Monkey in Safety Town this year, and I want to get the older two thrown in at the Red Cross' swimming lessons, if I can convince the Man that he NEEDS to learn how to swim so he can get over his fear of swimming. I mean come on ... it's the baby pool, dude!

I am throwing around the idea of sending them to our Bible School, a backyard Bible club (and I dodged THAT bullet because I was asked to host another one this year because mine was "so SUCCESSFUL a few years ago;" read: we were glad YOU were the one who had the 20 plus kids a day at YOUR house, and so sorry that swing broke when that 100 pound boy was swinging on it). But I need to decide which house to send them to. The one with kids more their age is at our choir director's house in a town about 20 minutes from here, and with gas prices, I am no so sure about that drive. And I would have to STAY there.... shudder.

Ok. Maybe I need to get things more planned out in the coming weeks. The Queen's dance recital week is the one that marks D-Days for me ... and that is only in a few weeks.

WHERE did this school year go?

Labels: kids, summer vacation

Thursday, April 05, 2007

Lack of creativity this morning

So no TT for me today. Just lacking creativity and why force it, right? And this is a later-than-normal entry for me anyway. I have been using all of my brain power trying to maintain my sanity this week of Spring Break.

So I have Queen in her room, allegedly "cleaning" it. The Monkey is now Addicted to Pippi Longstocking. Not the original. A cheesy remake. But hey, it seriously has given me an opportunity to take a shower without having to worry that the Monkey is burning the house down.

So Pippi was playing in the room, and Queen was feigning a weak attempt at looking like she was cleaning. I was back here in my room, working. Then all of a sudden ... I hear this BLOODcurdling scream. From the Queen.

Mommy!!!! You need to get in here!! NOW!!!!!!! It is REALLY bad, Mommy!!!

I'm thinking: the Monkey is lying in a pool of blood; the Monkey is hanging off of the top bunk, lifeless; the Monkey is in some death-situation that the Queen put her in.

I jump up, knock my chair over, RUN out into the hallway, about inflict mortal wounds on my middle child because he was in the way, all the while yelling "WHAT IS IT??????" and she just kept screeching "GET IN HERE!! IT'S BAD!!!!"

DAMN it if it wasn't a freaking SPIDER on her CEILING!!!!

I started crying. Literally, I stood there and started sobbing.

I had to go into the kitchen so I wouldn't freak out the other two. I didn't care if I freaked out the 8 1/2 year old child who knows SOOOOO much better than to act that way over an arachnid.

Needless to say, when she tried to apologize to me, I told her to give me my space and leave me alone. She stayed away from me pretty much all day long.

Labels: drama, kids, spring break

Saturday, March 31, 2007

Ah yes.... spring break

This is the official start of the kids' spring break.

Ten glorious days at home.

Here's how it will go:

Day one: the older two will lie around for about 20 minutes, watching SpongeBob, get bored, and start asking when we are going to do something.

And then it will all go downhill from there. Quickly. Like a boulder off of Pike's Peak. And the noise will be about the same.

If I had been SMART, I would have taken some vacation time. But I like to horde my time until the end of the year when I can tick my manager off when I say things like "oh yeah... I have 15 days to use" in November.

And of course, this will be EVERYone's spring break in the area. So it isn't like we can sneak into someplace without having 10,000 other kids there, too. And one of the Queen's good friends (no, not chicken girl) has taken off and gone to Hilton Head for her vacation. I can always count on her mom literally taking the Queen for a whole day and even overnight because the girls have a blast together.

So maybe we will plan a little trip and stay somewhere.

And then again, maybe not. Who knows.

See how prepared I am?

Oh well. At least I KNOW where my kids will be for the next few spring breaks. I am NOT looking forward to the college trips. Oy vey. God grant me the strength. Do you think I can convince my kids that I am homeschooling them through college?

Labels: kids, spring break, vacation

Wednesday, March 21, 2007

Sweepstakes, Part Deux and a Baby

For some reason, Queen Bee thinks she is "entitled" to win just about any prize that is given away.

Last night, we had the crazy Upward awards night ceremony. It is the night when the kids all get together in one large area and screech their ever-loving heads off, and get away with it. It is the night when they give away some pretty good prizes (although, last year's program was MUCH better than this year's, I thought).

They gave away 4 day passes (read: sorry ... no staying overnight) to Kalahari, a waterpark/hotel in Sandusky, OH. They also had quite a few bowling passes, which I would have loved, CD players, and then the Nintendo DS.

Queen has a Gameboy. Loves it. But apparently she WANTED this DS. So much so that when she was picked up by her father and walked back to me, she was .... CRYING!

I have NO patience for crying for NO reason at all. I have NO patience for a child who should know better than to stand in the middle of a large room full of her peers and CRY over something she didn't even have in the first place. So on the way home, that 8 1/2 year old child got an earful from me .... about how there were people in this town who at that very moment were checking into the City Mission because they have no place else to go. That there were people in this town who were at the hospital, getting ready to say goodbye to a loved one. That there were people in this town who were struggling financially to make ends meet, to get food om the table.

NO patience for this at ALL! When I told my mother of her behavior, her inital reaction was "oh ... poor thing. She was crying (not her words)" which then switched to "that child is too old for that! (her words)"

On a lighter note, my niece came over with her son yesterday afternoon and hung out for an hour and a half. I got my baby fix in, got him to smile at me a few times, put him to sleep, burped him ... all that good baby stuff. And then I could send him home. It was a wonderful feeling.

Choir tonight ... oh the joy of spending an hour with three to six year olds, trying to get them ready for a production on tax day in church.

And then dreaded adult choir. And therein lies another story ... for another post.

Labels: baby, kids, sweepstakes

Monday, March 12, 2007

Who's your daddy?

Yesterday morning, it was the usual melee of leaving church. My kids were all over the place as usual, I didn't have the magic snap going that early in the morning, so I had to yell at my kids to stop running while the second service was just starting. The only thing that saved me was the fact that they were playing a loud video in church right at that moment.

And the poor Monkey got all tangled up in the melee. The poor thing is so small, and she only can see up to someone's leg. She has to look all the way back to see if she is even talking to the right person.

We were getting our coats on, and she turned to Matt, Robin's husband and started to take something from his hand because she thought it was Ace. She then heard me say "that isn't Daddy, honey" and she looked up and saw that, indeed, this was a different person. So she turned to the next substitute, Robin's brother. She also discovered this person was not her father, either.

She finally hit pay dirt when she started to cry and call out "where's my Daddy?!?"

Poor little mite. In her defense, all three of them are about the same height, same build, and same hair coloring. And about the same amount of hair, too.

She was SALTY on the way home, too. Man ... you should have seen her face.

But then, if I didn't know who my Daddy was, I would be mad, too.

Labels: church, kids

Monday, February 26, 2007

Giving my kid a hard time

Sometimes I like to give my kids a hard time.

Queen Bee asked me last week if I remembered "the fair" that our local Catholic school puts on every summer. Of course I did. But I said I didn't. And that ticked her OFF!

Don't you remember it, Mommy?
Nope.
Mommy! Yes you do!
No I don't.
MOMMY! Door Man, do you remember it?
No.
You're just saying that because Mommy said no.
No I'm not. I don't remember it.
Ok... Monkey, do you remember the fair there?

Now, the Monkey is three. She doesn't remember anything beyond yesterday...

and she said she remembered the fair.

SEE Mommy! I told you! There IS a fair there.
Queen, you know that the Monkey will say yes to anything ... watch this...

Monkey, do you remember when they put that big Santa Claus up in that car dealership?
Yes.
Do you remember the Fort that used to be here?
Yes.
Do you remember when the bridge collapsed?
Yes.

Turning to the Queen, I told her that the Monkey is too little to remember things, and she will agree to anything you ask her (if she's in the mood, of course).

I finally let the Queen off the hook and told her that I did indeed remember the festival at the school.

About two minutes of silence goes by, and the Man looks at me and says....

What bridge?

Labels: kids

Tuesday, February 20, 2007

Remedial Email Reading 101

Apparently, there needs to be a class for me to take called "Remedial Email Reading." Because yesterday at 2 (it wasn't noon), I called in with my little passcode. The operator says "now is this for the 20th" and I confidently reply "Yes!"

And he said "well, today is the 19th."

So my conference calls is TODAY, not yesterday.

Mark me down in the Eager Beaver department, please. And increase my bonus to 150 percent, please.

Yesterday the kids went to a little craft store, spent their money, and then got haircuts. The Queen just got 1/2 inch taken off, so you can't really tell the difference. The Man got a trim and no longer has is Elvis sideburns, so he does look better.

The Monkey .... she had her first haircut ... her first "official" haircut.

And here is her new 'do.

It might not look like a lot, but it really is. There are layers and quite a bit was taken off in the back. And it did make the curls pop a bit. And it was MUCH needed.

Labels: haircuts, kids, work

I'm a mom of three peeps ... Queen Bee, The Door Man, and the Chandelier Monkey, and wife to Ace, the Helpful Hardware Man. I created this space to get away from the people known as my inlaws, and because life with three kids and a hubby is all Unexplored Territory.

The nine-year-old who seems to be growing older every minute, has an opinion and a comment for everything, and has a true servant's heart.

The seven-year-old who loves the organization of things, will someday be someone's therapist because of his kind soul, and will more than likely be living with us until he is 40 years old.

The five-year-old with the 13-year-old attitude, who has a dictator's personality, asks you to watch her all the time and say "hold on" to keep your attention, and will someday come home on the back of some dude's motorcycle with 10 tatts and a body piercing or two.

The man of the house, the fixer of things, the winner of prizes, and the only person in his family to escape the South.