Unexplored Territory

Friday, August 31, 2007

LIke Dorothy says...

There's no place like home.

We have returned. The basement is totally gutted. We are waiting for the FEMA representative to arrive. We have to unpack, and then decide if we are going right out to buy a washer and a dryer.

Good times, people. Good times.

More later after FEMA tells us they have no money for us.

Labels: flooding

Thursday, August 30, 2007

Things I never thought I would learn (or have to learn)

1. FEMA ... knew the name of the organization; never thought I would actually be in a close working relationship with them.

2. The American Red Cross is about more than blood donations. They bring water, mops, Clorox, cleaning supplies, and respond to disasters like nobody's business. Unfortunately, I think it is all in response to poor response to the Katrina victims.

3. Flood insurance ... get it. If you are near a creek, a river, or a lake.... GET IT!!! There are so many people in this town who thought they had it, but didn't, or didn't get it and wish they had.

4. Kids and elevators .... they are all the same. I wanna push the button; no it's MY turn; no it's MINE!

5. You can swim more than once a day if it keeps the kids happy and wears them out.

6. No matter how old your furnace is, don't become too attached to it. Ours was only one year old (just celebrated its birthday last month) and it is meeting its demise as I type this.

7. If you can, don't put all of your mechanicals in the basement.

8. There are a lot of washers and dryers out there to choose from.

9. Neighbors you thought stayed to themselves really do have hearts of gold. And when you make fun of the Neighborhood Watch program man, don't. He has a heart that is deeper than any ocean, and is genuinely concerned about everyone in his 'hood.

10. No matter what, if you think you have water in your transmission line, DO NOT start your car. Our next door neighbor made that mistake, and toasted his Honda.

11. And a note to our choir director: don't ever ask me for an update in choir. If you have a schedule to keep, that is.

Tomorrow, maybe, I will tell the story of a trip in the back of the city dumptruck ....

Labels: flooding

Wednesday, August 29, 2007

Just a litte update

We are still hoteling it. We have the basement all cleaned out, and the plumber is coming in tomrorow to insall the hot water heater.

We have had the fight of our lives with the mortgage company and the flood insurance company. That is a whole post in itself. This morning, we should be good to go so we can get a gosh darn flood adjuster out to our house.

I think we have some nastiness growing under our bedroom. We have that flexible dutwork under there, and the water totally saturated it. So we know there is the possibility of black mold growing in there. The plumber/HVAC people are going to take out that ductwork, as well as remove our furnace.

The basement looks like a veritable no-man's land. No walls. No possessions. Just a broken hot water heater, furnace, and a sink that needs a good washing down.

We have learned a lot about community in this past week. It is hard to believe that just one short week ago, we were on pins and needles, watching the water rise in our basement. It is definitely a flood for the record books. Everyone has a story or two to tell. The hardest part now is seeing everyone's life out on the curb. And what pisses me off the most is as soon as you throw something out there, there are gawkers, looking through your stuff, seeing if there is anything the could salvage and make their own.

Sure people ... have the freak at it. it sat in sewer-infested, nastiness for over 36 hours. But its ALL yours.

Our thank you card list is growing longer. I need to really start writing them.

Thanks to you all for your well wishes. One day, the posts on here will return to their lightness and humor.

But for now, it is real life that is weighing the family down.

Later, dudes.

Labels: flooding

Monday, August 27, 2007

Dear Nationwide Flood Insurance Department

Get your fu88ing act together.

Thank you.

Sincerely,

A VERY disgruntled insured who KNOWS you have her escrow monies for that flood insurance policy and KNOWS you are playing some sort of mind game with her.

Watch out, Nationwide. Watch out.

Labels: flood insurance

Sunday, August 26, 2007

Wish you were here

Dear Grammy:

We are having a swell time here in Findlay, Ohio. We have been swimming and playing in our hotel room and eating out of the vending machines.

Did we tell you that the first hotel kicked us out, even after they had told us that we could just add on to our stay if we needed to? I guess those Allstate insurance adjusters were just more important than our family.

Mommy and Daddy have been working tirelessly making phone calls and trips to the house. I have even heard Mommy say a few times that she is having a wonderful time. I don't know if she is being serious or not.

Yesterday, our Nana came to get us so Mommy could direct the crew from church while they threw away half of our possessions in a dumpster. It really is kinda cool to see everything that we had stored in the basement being chucked into a metal container.

The flood was really cool. We were rescued by a big orange dumptruck. Mommy made some comment about her coming into the white trash world in style. I have no idea what she was talking about.

So we will be staying at a hotel for another night, and then we have to find a new one because they might not have enough room for us tomorrow night, either. These darned out of town carpet cleaners and disaster response people. They are ruining my vacation.

I sure am sorry you haven't been here to see all of this. I sure hope that you enjoyed your anniversary trip to Dale Hollow. I know that Daddy really misses you, and wishes you could be here, but he understands that you have your priorities.

I have included some pictures from the fun days we have had. I sure wish you could have seen it all ... but I understand that your husband is more important than us.

I can't wait to see you in a day or so .... sorry to hear that your car broke down after your anniversary trip and before you could get up here. I'm not sure what she meant, but Mommy said that karma is a bitch.

Love, Queen Bee.

Thursday, August 23, 2007

Flooding SUCKS!!!!

We are displaced, but we are safe. We are staying at an extended stay hotel (to maintain the sanity of ALL involved). We had to be rescued yesterday afternoon.

We had a total of 6 feet in our basement of nasty sewer water. Sweet.

Pics and stories to come later. We don't have power at the house, and I am not sure what the hotel's situation is with computers. But believe you me, there WILL be stories, people. Stories galore.

And pictures. Did I mention that?

Labels: flooding

Wednesday, August 22, 2007

I love the smell of river water at 4 am

Last night, we had an overnight guest. My Dad had to stay with us because of the flash flooding that occurred yesterday. It was one of those really weird ones ... the places where there is normally water had none, and places that didn't normally have it had it. All over.

My sister was on her way home and had to park her car at a rental house about a mile from hers because of the sheer amount of water that had taken over her road (also my parents' road). She had to walk home. She was facing seeing that water come into her house. My mother called for a prayer request.

Guess what I forgot to do?

Yeah. God has a memory, people.

Because guess what WE have POURING into our basement now. You got it. A river. A freaking river. And I'm not exaggerating. Since my Dad came back here to wake us up an hour ago, that water level has gone up a foot. And it KEEPS coming in. Because we live in an old house. And we have crappy basement windows. And who knows where ELSE this crap is pouring in from.

Robin ... if you read this this early, and were planning on making it to the Center.... just plan on having the day off, sweetie. Because you ain't getting to work. And Dale, if you were planning on it .... have another cup of joe. Because you would need to get here on a boat.

I have NEVER seen it like it. Never.

Last night ... remember that God memory thing of which I speak .... well, last NIGHT I was just commenting on the fact that we have NEVER had a problem with water here. You would have thought I would have learned my lesson that once you give something lipservice, BANG! Instant whatever it was you were bragging about not having to deal with happens to you.

My only fear is that we don't become those people that have to evacuate to the top of the roof and wait it out because we live in a ranch. There's no extra floor here. I am hoping that I STOP seeing that damn murky water rise up those basement stairs.

Ace is outside, packing the windows with ... shoot, I don't know what. We need sandbags. Of course, we don't have them. And when we we to bed last night, this wasn't even a threat. No sign of it whatsoever.

I feel sick to my stomach about the whole thing, but these things are just possessions. We have flood insurance for this very reason. I just hope that the safety of my family isn't compromised. I mean, if we could get out anywhere, I would have us holed up in a hotel, waiting this out.

The person I feel the worst for is my Dad. Nothing like coming to your daughter's house to escape the floodwaters of your road only to be met by the river across the street. You would have thought it would have been the other way around, huh?

And his prized $ 35,000 Volvo SUV is sitting out on the road.

Pray for us, if you do that. And don't say "ok" and not do it. I'm warning you.

Labels: flooding

Tuesday, August 21, 2007

Those dreams again

This morning, I had another dream.

This one had my husband and I driving down to Tennessee for some meeting that I had to attend. There was a point in time when tornados were touching down all around us, but they were wispy looking. Nothing serious. He and I traded places (he was driving but got tired), so we traded.

Then we stopped at a cheesy hotel. The kids were with us.

We started off the next morning, and it was Robin with me instead of Ace. She watched the kids for me as I attended a meeting on top of a mountain in the Smoky Mountains.

Robin didn't want to stop; she wanted to drive all the way back home. So we started off.

Then Ace slammed my chair into my desk, woke me up, and that was it.

Didn't I take an oath that I would wake up when the alarm went off?

Thought so.

Sunday, August 19, 2007

As if he could endear himself ANYmore to me

It is no hidden secret: I have a crush on my doctor.

Yes. THE doctor.

There is just something so ... geeky ... and confident about him.

There is nothing sexier than geeky confidence to me.

Maybe that was what attracted me to Ace 17 plus years ago....

Friday was THE day. The DREADED day.

Cortisone shot day.

It started off like any other. I tried to push the shot back into the deep recesses of my mind. I succeeded for a while.

The Mominator had compounded the problem Wednesday night with this conversation:

Ring ring ...

Hello?

Hey... what are you doing?

Working. What are you doing?

Well, your sister and I were talking about this shot ....

Now let me insert into this conversation this observation: if you are contemplating or are getting ready to have some medical procedure done, if the Godfather music rings on your cell phone, don't answer it. Not only is the tone ominous, but so will the ensuing conversation be. Because SOMEone SOMEwhere has been doing some thinking ... some horrid thinking ... of everything that could POSSIBLY go wrong with a medical procedure.

This is what had the Mominator so freaked out:

She was afraid that my doctor, Dr. McGeekybutwithalotofconfidence, would have NO idea where to inject this shot.

She thought that Dr. McGeekybutwithalotofconfidencethatmakeshimsexierthanhe&& had no concept of human anatomy.

She thought that Dr.McGeeky was going to "put this shot in the already compromised hip joint" and was going to cripple me for life.

Ok. See that "flaming red" area. That is the bursa sac that covers the femur. That is what has been inflamed on me. That LITTLE thing is what has caused me a great many day of pain. It has caused me to walk completely different, to the point of now having to retrain my muscles to work in the correct manner.

Ok ... move up a little bit. See there in the middle ... up above the femur. The hip joint.

This is where my mother, the woman who knows absolutely NOTHING about anatomy, the woman who, during Jeopardy screamed out "JEEBIE!" to the question "He Bee" (that was DRONE, mother), the woman who called the 80s boy band Medudo, the woman who thought that she smelled the grapes in the grape arbors that we were passing in New York, with the windows completely rolled up, when, in fact, it was my grape Bubble Yum gum .... oh where was I? Oh yea ... this is where my mother thinks that Dr. McGeeky is going to inject this shot.

She exclaimed that she was going to ask my father about it (my Dad, as you might remember ... or you don't remember ... but just ... remember, ok? was a mortician). And my Dad made the unfortunate decision of coming home. Right then.

I'll talk to you later. Click.

I didn't hear another word from the woman until she came over to watch the kids, and only then she said "good luck."

When the nurse came in with the first shot, I about fainted. It was huge. I thought she was planning on shooting a horse with it. Dr. McGeeky said "oh no ... not that one. I need the (insert dr. jargon here) needle."

I didn't look at that needle. Because that was when I had to drop my drawers.

Did I mention yet that I had totally forgotten about the underwear factor when I got ready that morning? And it wasn't until I was getting ready for bed that night that I realized I almost chose the HORRID looking underwear, but instead grabbed the second most horrid looking pair that didn't have any holes in them.

I pulled my pants down, he put a paper drape over me, and he told me I would feel a big bee sting.

This man ... works wonders with a needle. Because that bee sting felt like a pinch, and I felt the sensation of him moving the needle around. That. Was. It.

It was a wonderful experience. I was expecting to be in excrutiating pain, but I wasn't.

I was glad that Ace had taken me (he didn't go into the inner sanctum of the exam room ... I will tell later of Ace's foray into the world of epidurals) because I felt a little "funky" on the way home.

Yesterday, it was a little touch and go. I was still feeling the stiffness. But Doc told me that I wouldn't feel the full effects of the cortisone until today.

And boy do I. I am no longer hobbling around like some geriatric patient.

So this is why I have MORE of a crush on McGeeky ... he pulled my pants down, looked at my ugly underwear, bragged to his nurse about my singing ability, and he didn't hurt me. What more could you ask for in a man?

Oh yeah... and he made the Mominator look like an idiot.

Labels: cortisone shot, Dr. McGeeky

Thursday, August 16, 2007

Those phone calls you hate getting ... and a phone call you don't expect to get

The Godfather theme rings on my cell phone. It is more ominous than normal...

Hello mother.

Have you talked to your sister?

Earlier this afternoon... why?

Have you talked to her since her accident?

WHAT?! WHAT ACCIDENT!

Well, I don't know .... I was outside when she called on her cell phone. She said she was hit when someone turned right in front of her. Dad is taking her to the ER. She has a cut and a bump, so she's going to get checked out.

My poor sister. When she was on her way home from visiting me when the Queen was born, she and my niece got into a pretty bad, one-car accident. She hydroplaned on an exit ramp and smashed her backend (thank goodness) into a cement girder. The car was totalled.

This car that she was in yesterday ... the car she got to replace the one she totalled. And she owned it. And now she doesn't anymore.

My Mom called back to let me know she had talked to my Dad, who said Mini Martha was being checked out, and was "checking out ok." She was set to be released soon.

I was in the bathroom, getting ready to go to teach class last night and my phone rang again. I was hoping it was the Odd Couple theme (MM's music). It wasn't.

It was My Old Kentucky Home.

You got it .. my MIL was calling.

I handed the phone over to Ace. And here's how the one-sided convo went.

Hi there. Pause. Well, from what we know, she has a cut and a bump, but is still in the ER..... LONG pause. How did YOU find out about her accident?

It seems that my MIL loves to troll the online version of our local paper. And they had ALREADY reported my sister's accident (along with my sister's age ... we laughed about that later).

So when I finally reached MM, who was walking out of a grocery store with her pain med Rx, I told her that my MIL sent her best wishes.

MM about peed her pants.

WHAT? How did SHE find out?

So I read her the newspaper blurb. And she found out more about the girl who hit her ... like how she is 17, only had her learner's permit, and was driving without her required licensed driver.

All in all, the accident was not too serious, but from the looks of MM's car, it was REALLY serious. Her car is toast, and she is bummed out about that.

And as for my MIL and that online newspaper thing .... remind me to never do anything that will get me landed in the Daily Docket.

Labels: Mini Martha

Wednesday, August 15, 2007

It's like they are speaking to me, man

To my dear friends who remember the 80s and can't get out of them (like me)....

Labels: music video, the 80s

Dreams

I have openly declared to Ace that when I wake up at 6:15, I need to get my butt out of bed as opposed to going back to sleep.

Because for the past two mornings, I have had my freakiest dreams during those 45 minutes.

Yesterday morning, it was a repeat of a dream that I really should have analyzed. I go up in the elevators of one of the Twin Towers. I just go up and up and up. I know that something bad is about ready to happen, but I don't get out. Sometimes, the elevator is going down and the cable snaps ... at like floor 80 something. And I don't make it to the end of the dream on those. Sometimes, when I am going up to the 100th floor, the door opens up directly to the outside. And some of the people just get out and fall.

I think 9/11 haunts me more than I ever let on.

Then this morning, I was supposed to be at a meeting about getting a new roof on a bank where I worked. I couldn't make the meeting, so Ace went in my stead. He was supposed to text me, but he didn't get around to it. Then I was supposed to go the meeting. I went on to the meeting, and that is where it all went wrong. I turned into an otter, and I was supposed to be meeting a doctor at a lake.

I had already met this dr once. He showed up, gave me a shot in my now human leg, and he wouldn't take it out. He kept pushing it in. Then I knew he wasn't going to help me, he was going to hurt me.

So I got out of the water (I was human then) and he and I struggled with this needle. I ended up stabbing him with it, and he deflated to this little toy thing. I stepped all over him, thinking I had killed him. He came back to life.

Then I was on a spaceship and the toy thing turned into a cat that I ended up shoving into an airlock and opening it up into space. I could SEE the cat hanging on to the spaceship. I wasn't going to open the door.

And then I woke up.

Freaky, freaky dreams. Always had them. Always will.

Labels: dreams

Tuesday, August 14, 2007

Making a choice

Blog or finish up a 50 page case.

I think work wins out this morning.

Have a good day, y'all!

Labels: blogging, work

Monday, August 13, 2007

The new toy

Meet the new toy.

Ace decided that we both needed cell phones. He also decided that we needed to switch from Alltel to Verizon. He also decided that we should shut off our landline, and just use cells completely. This last one scares me a little. I am not sure if I am ready for that, especially since MY number will be the main number. So I will get ALL the phone calls.

Anywhere that I am. I don't know if I can be "bothered" like that, kwim?

I think that I will make HIM make HIS number be the main phone number. His comment about HIS number: don't give it out to anyone.

Really? Well, why? His number makes more sense to be the main phone number because it has the prefix of our area. Mine .. you just know it is a cell phone number.

I have been playing with my Razr since I got it. I have added some ringtones and assigned them that crack me up.

Ace is a huge fan of Led Zeppelin. I am sure I didn't spell that last name right ... and I don't care. So Ace, get over it. I decided that Kashmir needed to be his ringtone. And it sounds cool.

Robin P is Mamma Mia. We saw the musical together last year some time and every time I hear that song, I think of her.

The reason I HAD to download some tones was because I had already decided what the Mominator's tone would be.

The Godfather.

For Mini Martha, it was a tossup between Green Acres, the Chicken Dance (because you know, she's a vegan), and The Battle of the Valkyres (used in Apocolypse Now). But then I found the perfect tone ...

The Odd Couple.

Labels: brother in law, cell phones and kids, hunter

Friday, August 10, 2007

I Heart Drake Bell

I am MUCH too tired this morning for a witty post, and I have to get ready here in the next five minutes so I can take the Door Man to his eye dr. appointment this morning.

But if Drake Bell comes up missing and later found living with a very nice family in Ohio, don't be alarmed.

Because I want to adopt him. He is just the cutest thing.

And I might even buy his CD.

Corbin was also a cutie ..... but he moved too much for me. Drake just stood in one area, and sweated up a storm, the poor boy. That grossed our girls out.

Good.

Less competition for me.

Labels: concerts

Thursday, August 09, 2007

Come on .... you all be jealous now

A rite of passage is occuring this evening.

My last concert was Alannis Morissette. LOVED it. Cinci. Still remember it like it was yesterday.

Tonight, my daughter's first concert.

Corbin Bleu from the High School Muscial series, and Drake Bell, from Drake and Josh on Nick. And then some unfortunate girl thrown in there ... I don't even know her. Of course, how WELL do I know the aforementioned boys?

Ohio State Fair. 97 degree stormy weather.

Good times, people. GOOD times.

For some reason, the scene from Twister keeps playing out in my mind where they are all at the drive-in theater and the tornado hits (I say this jokingly, but there is still a tornado warning for a town directly north of us right now, and really nasty weather coming in from Indy right now).

More tomorrow, people.

Labels: concerts, kids

Tuesday, August 07, 2007

Sucked into the white trash tornado

Ok. Robin's post last week about Rock of Love .... and then listening to she and Jacque, the Kentucky girl who recently returned home from the North, talk about this show. I had to watch it.

I was thinking it would be one Jerry Springer episode after another.

Not quite, but pretty darn close.

I watched the last 30 minutes of the show from last week. And I got to meet some REAL characters.

My personal favorite moments were from tonight's episode when one contestant was telling Bret Michaels that she wasn't sure if she could trust him when he is out on the road.

Ok. Sweetheart, here's the deal.

He's a man who is cutting a solo album. He is using THIS show to catapult his solo album out there so he gets good playtime on it. This girlfriend thing .... whatever. I don't really see him settling down with this person who "wins" this competition.

So ... if you are looking for love, you're looking in all the wrong places.

Here's another one: Rodeo and the cry-fest. Talk about not being able to get a good read on a person other than being able to tell that they aren't playing with a full deck of cards .... well, that was about all I could get out of her.

But the best part was when she said: I love rock. I love country. That's why I wear this hat because kids love me.

Ok. What the he*&? Seriously. Did that just SERIOUSLY come out of your mouth? I think it was a good thing that Bret let you return to your seven year old son. You need to go home and work on those conversation skills with him.

Then there was the other girl ... Brandi C. ... who was booted off. And she wondered why?

I think I would THANK him for kicking me off, thanking him for finally snapping me back into my own little world of reality where I could actually step back for once and look at the prize at the end of the stick.

Dudes... it's BRET MICHAELS!

The man used to wear more makeup than me throughout the entire 1980s ... just for ONE show.

And is that EYELINER still on his eyes?

The production company says it all: it's "mindless entertainment."

Labels: television shows

Monday, August 06, 2007

Seven bottles of beer on the wall...

I just returned from my doctor's office.

Yes. THE doctor. The one who was totally amazed and taken aback at my raw singing talent. LOL!

He came in, washed his hands, extended his hand to me and said "if you ever decide to cut a CD, you let me know because I will be FIRST in line to buy one."

Of course you will. Because you are just amazed and awed by the sheer beautiful quality of my voice.

I will even forgive you the nagging fact that you have now scheduled for me the administration of a cortisone shot in my left hip for August the 17th. At 3 pm.

And so after he was praising me for my vocal talent, and how wonderful it is that I have realized it for the sake of uplifitng others to God (he even THANKED me for that!), I proceeded to go out and ask his receptionist if it would be all right if I downed seven Coronas before I showed up for the shot next week.

I don't see a problem with it. Do you?

Labels: dr visits, hip pain, singing

Sunday, August 05, 2007

So really ... what happened

during the week that I was posting about our vacay?

Ummm... really?

Nothing.

Literally N.O.T.H.I.N.G.

Well ok. Maybe not nothing. But close to it.

The older two finished out their two weeks of swimming lessons. The Man passed his level; the Queen, who does not take failure well, did not. Repeat offender, as they would say in Raising Arizona.

Ace saw The Simpsons. Said he laughed his butt off, but I haven't been threatened with hearing the funniest part of the movie yet.

Fell asleep during the last three minutes of Top Chef, so I didn't get to see who got the axe. But I know now.

Giggled A LOT on Wednesday night ... felt like I was back in college.

The Monkey and I spent some time at the park. One of those days, Queen joined us ... that will be a post in itself right there.

And the week ended with a bang when we found out that the Monkey is not allergic to bee stings.

Oh yeah, and finsihed up with one class and will be starting to teach Contract Law tomorrow night. Let the good times begin!

Labels: kids, mindless blabbering, teaching

Friday, August 03, 2007

Sell a Cow, Make a Friend

On our trips, we love to look at signs. It is really the only thing to pass the time along when you are making a longer trip with antsy kids in the car.

Oh and when I say "we" love to look at them, I mean Ace and I. The kids have to find their own entertainment. However, if they are awake, and there is a funny one, we will point it out to them.

Some of the signs and sights go over their heads, though.

Like the sign on the side of the road on I65: Used Cows For Sale.

Ace and I just got the biggest kick out of this. This elicited the standard comment: only in Kentucky.

We made the mistake of saying something to the FIL, who then took all the air out of the humor balloon. "Well, that saahhn has bin there for a whyle now." I guess when farmers have "used" their cows, they have to mark them used. Meaning: if they are a dairy cow and have reached a certain age, they call them "used."

Far be it from me to argue with a farmer. So that sign wasn't as funny anymore.

Of course, being in the start of the Bible belt down there, there are the smatterings of the Biblical billboards. One states Thou Shalt Not Kill. On the interstate. Well, I will certainly remember that one as my vessel of metal and plastic hurls itself along down these hilly roads with all these semi trucks that don't pay one bit of attention to the drivers around them until they blast their horn for 30 seconds and flip the trucker off on the way by (that wasn't me.... well, not the flipping off part).

One of my favorite Bible boards is on the way to the inlaws place ... outside of Glasgow, KY. It's that one ... you know .... submit to your husband, and all that crap. Don't get me wrong... if you are a regular reader, you know I go to church. I just don't subscribe to that philosophy.

On the flip side of that board is this one: Spare the rod and spoil the child.

So ... don't kill anyone, wives submit to your husbands, and it's ok to spank that little brat. Good deal.

A little used car dealership on the same road has some good lookin' vehicles on their lot, and their motto is "Buy a car, make a friend" and I am most sure that the small print on that signs reads "with the mechanic."

I saved the best for last ...

Come on ... say it with me now ... Only in Kentucky.

Labels: signs, summer vacation

Thursday, August 02, 2007

One Fish, Two Fish, Red Fish, Dead Fish

I had mentioned before that I love to fish. I really do. But don't ask me to do anything other than to cast my line into the water.

Wax worms and a hook .... don't do them.

Taking the fish off the hook .... can't do that, especially when the little bugger swallows the hook and you have to get the pliers out to do a little fish surgery that never ends well.

We set off for the marina at the state park where the inlaws had launched their boat. While we were waiting on the dock, and the kids were getting MIGHTY pissed off at having to wear their life vests when they were just sitting around, we let them walk around for a while.

Now, not only do I have a fear of heights, I also have a fear that one of my kids is going to go plummeting into some body of water and not be able to save themselves. Now, the Monkey is really the only one I need to worry about. The Man and Queen can sort of take care of themselves.

So when Ace started walking around with the kids on the dock, and the Monkey kept lying down on her belly to look at the fish, I knew that something was going to happen.

See if you can tell what that is.....

Once the hat was fished out of the water, it was set to dry on the boat. It was ok.... she got over it.

We took off for a cove where my FIL wanted to find a place on the shore so we could fish. We weren't keeping anything; they fish mainly for bluegill and shell crackers, but said that the fish haven't been big enough because of the lack of rain in the area.

We found an area, put the worms on the hook, and put the old lines in. The Barbie fishing pole was the first winner of the day. That pole belongs to the Monkey. She was thrilled, as you can tell.

The Man also caught one .... I think this is a precious picture.

And what about the Queen? She is an avid fisherwoman. Always has been. She always catches the most, and she is cocky about it. We just don't take pictures of her catching fish anymore....

The first little fish that happened to be on the Monkey's hook decided that he wanted that worm, so he swallowed the whole hook. When I see that, I just say "Ace.... get the pliers" and he sets to work. I don't know if it was because they swallowed them so far, or Ace sucks at getting hooks out of fish, but needless to say there were a few unnecessary deaths that day. The Monkey's fish was one of them.

When they are so close to the bank, the inlaws just throw their dead ones up on the bank. So the FIL instructed the son to do that very thing. I guess the fish heard this, and made a last ditch attempt to return to his fish family in the water. He jumped out of Ace's hand, flopped back into the water and we all held our breath to see what happened next.

And up he floated. He was still sucking for air, but it was only a matter of time.

My FIL kept getting the oar out to shove the fish away.... but it kept floating back to us. Then the other fish started to work on it. Nobody really wanted to watch that. About the third time that my FIL shoved the fish away and it floated back to us, he decided to get a net.

And then the Monkey started to get upset.

Is .... is that fish..... DEAD?!?!!??!?!?

Not wanting her to be upset about the demise of the fish, I said "oh no, honey ... Gramps is just going to throw him out into the lake farther so he stops following us." It worked.

Labels: fishing, summer vacation

I'm a mom of three peeps ... Queen Bee, The Door Man, and the Chandelier Monkey, and wife to Ace, the Helpful Hardware Man. I created this space to get away from the people known as my inlaws, and because life with three kids and a hubby is all Unexplored Territory.

The nine-year-old who seems to be growing older every minute, has an opinion and a comment for everything, and has a true servant's heart.

The seven-year-old who loves the organization of things, will someday be someone's therapist because of his kind soul, and will more than likely be living with us until he is 40 years old.

The five-year-old with the 13-year-old attitude, who has a dictator's personality, asks you to watch her all the time and say "hold on" to keep your attention, and will someday come home on the back of some dude's motorcycle with 10 tatts and a body piercing or two.

The man of the house, the fixer of things, the winner of prizes, and the only person in his family to escape the South.